the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
