The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
