No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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