Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are we still banned from the library?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
