uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I did not marry a roomba.
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