yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
be right there i have to get my cape
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
