you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can't just leave with hair like that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
