She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
