She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
