are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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