thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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