I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
