god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
