This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
