I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can Purell be used as lube?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
