If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
