The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
