Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
