I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
