Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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