Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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