Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize