I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
