So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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