It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
