420 ftw
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
