ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
