lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
