did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
