what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
