The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
