Acid is not a monday night drug
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
