just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
