I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
