I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
