Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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