Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
