so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
