Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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