I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think my tv is drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
