I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
