i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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