I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
