There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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