I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How naked do you want me to be?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
