If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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