North Korea, Best Korea!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm just crazy horny about you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
