i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
