no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
