my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
