made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
