My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
