We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
