i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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