Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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