she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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