I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
