Banned from zoo.
Again?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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