its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
