I faked an abortion last night.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
