so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
