We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
