she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
