you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you remember whose house we're in?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
