How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
