Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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