Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
