giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize