I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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