Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize