so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
