Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
