I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize