I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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