the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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