I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
