i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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