Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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