True but thats because hes a fetus.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
