the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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