yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize